Is Blergh Considered a Feeling?

I’ve been trying out figure out this feeling I’ve had for the last few weeks, I can’t quite put it into words? Is it frustration, sadness, happiness, contemplation (is that a feeling?), stoicness (is that even a word?), complacent, inspired or lack thereof? I could go on forever, but I’ll stop here.

Anyway I have a huge urge to travel, I mean I really want to travel, every now and then I get that urge to go somewhere I haven’t been before. I would love to go on a trip to Africa for a safari or to New Zealand, somewhere, I need a change of scenery. But then I come down from that cloud to the realization that I can’t, mainly because money is an issue. Only thing I see in the foreseeable future is a short trip to Pagosa Springs with family.

I work at a non-profit art gallery in Palmer Lake (which means not that great of a salary), I like the job, like any job it has its drawbacks, sometimes major and sometimes non at all. The fact of the matter is I wasn’t trained properly; I should have had a class in Quickbooks before I started the job. Someone showing me, quickly, how to work the program didn’t help. Almost three months in and I’m still learning the program, that isn’t helping either. I’m still learning on the job, not always good, even though this is my blog I can’t get into the problems on here, mainly because people I work with or people that I meet in general might find it. Gotta keep a good image, says everyone ever. So while I’m working this job I’m looking and applying for other jobs, not much is out there right now, but I apply when I see something that fits what I want to do.

I’ve been slacking on some things, like photography, my dad bought me a 3 hour photography class on Living Social for a Christmas present, I never used it. By the time I looked up classes at the end of January and February, the slots were all taken. I then didn’t look again, sure it was only $30, but I still feel bad that I never used it. I would love to work on my photography, and I know I should. As a graduation present on getting my Master’s degree my parents want to give me a camera. I still have yet to look up information on cameras, I’m procrastinating and I don’t know why. But that seems to be my life lately; at least I’m getting back to the gym, now I just need to get back to yoga. I need to better my life, meet new people, yadda yadda yadda. I need to figure out my life instead of sitting there and wallowing and thinking about what needs to be done. I signed up to be a volunteer at the local humane society, I just need to talk to them about a day I can train with them. They usually have training days on Saturdays, but I work, it was supposed to be this Monday, but they never got back to me. I’ll contact them soon. I can’t believe it’s almost May, this year seems to have gone by fast, I want it to slow down, so I can figure out the hell I’m doing….that seems to be the main thing in my life, figuring out where I’m headed. I know what I want, I just need to somehow get there.

So for now the word is improvement, trying to improve myself and my situation, or maybe it's just Blergh like Liz Lemon would say, who knows.