You Know What Really Grinds my Gears

I really don’t understand the people with the super nice SLR cameras, who just use them to take pictures of their grandkids or family. If they’re just using the camera for that, then wouldn’t it be easier to buy a point and shoot camera? Not some huge camera that they have to lug around with them. I mean seriously, there is no point, do they just buy them because they have the money? I understand the people who bring their huge cameras to sporting events or what have you; they want to get those quality photographs. Yeah everyone thinks they’re a photographer, but to me, the person who studied the history of photography for 14 months, and wrote a dissertation on Street Photography, it’s an art form. I use my point and shoot for gatherings with friends or when I don’t want to lug my bigger camera around. When I bring my Panasonic with me I take photographs of landscapes, architecture, and whatever else catches my eye. Whenever my family goes on vacation all of us take photographs of the same thing, however it comes out differently due to the eye of the person. I’m not harping on everyone; it’s just those who choose to bring it with them to have people stare at it. It’s like they do it for the attention, even though they might not realize it.

Also while I’m at it, people who bring their Ipads to events and take pictures with them are stupid, they look stupid, it’s like their waiting to get robbed with them out. I have an ipad, but I don’t bring it out with me, I don’t see the point.  

Right now I’m in the market to buy a camera, I’ve looked at Olympus, Fujifilm, Panasonic. I want something big enough, with interchangeable lenses; it has to have a good zoom, as in 18 or higher megapixels. Most of all I want the shadows and light to come out crisp. I’m still researching, it might take a while, but I want to find the right one. If anyone knows of any good quality cameras, sound off in the comment section below. 

Is Blergh Considered a Feeling?

I’ve been trying out figure out this feeling I’ve had for the last few weeks, I can’t quite put it into words? Is it frustration, sadness, happiness, contemplation (is that a feeling?), stoicness (is that even a word?), complacent, inspired or lack thereof? I could go on forever, but I’ll stop here.

Anyway I have a huge urge to travel, I mean I really want to travel, every now and then I get that urge to go somewhere I haven’t been before. I would love to go on a trip to Africa for a safari or to New Zealand, somewhere, I need a change of scenery. But then I come down from that cloud to the realization that I can’t, mainly because money is an issue. Only thing I see in the foreseeable future is a short trip to Pagosa Springs with family.

I work at a non-profit art gallery in Palmer Lake (which means not that great of a salary), I like the job, like any job it has its drawbacks, sometimes major and sometimes non at all. The fact of the matter is I wasn’t trained properly; I should have had a class in Quickbooks before I started the job. Someone showing me, quickly, how to work the program didn’t help. Almost three months in and I’m still learning the program, that isn’t helping either. I’m still learning on the job, not always good, even though this is my blog I can’t get into the problems on here, mainly because people I work with or people that I meet in general might find it. Gotta keep a good image, says everyone ever. So while I’m working this job I’m looking and applying for other jobs, not much is out there right now, but I apply when I see something that fits what I want to do.

I’ve been slacking on some things, like photography, my dad bought me a 3 hour photography class on Living Social for a Christmas present, I never used it. By the time I looked up classes at the end of January and February, the slots were all taken. I then didn’t look again, sure it was only $30, but I still feel bad that I never used it. I would love to work on my photography, and I know I should. As a graduation present on getting my Master’s degree my parents want to give me a camera. I still have yet to look up information on cameras, I’m procrastinating and I don’t know why. But that seems to be my life lately; at least I’m getting back to the gym, now I just need to get back to yoga. I need to better my life, meet new people, yadda yadda yadda. I need to figure out my life instead of sitting there and wallowing and thinking about what needs to be done. I signed up to be a volunteer at the local humane society, I just need to talk to them about a day I can train with them. They usually have training days on Saturdays, but I work, it was supposed to be this Monday, but they never got back to me. I’ll contact them soon. I can’t believe it’s almost May, this year seems to have gone by fast, I want it to slow down, so I can figure out the hell I’m doing….that seems to be the main thing in my life, figuring out where I’m headed. I know what I want, I just need to somehow get there.

So for now the word is improvement, trying to improve myself and my situation, or maybe it's just Blergh like Liz Lemon would say, who knows.

Twists and Turns

Sometimes things don’t go as planned, sometimes you get a small break in life. I don’t know how many places I’ve applied to that weren’t in Colorado, maybe 15 places, I didn’t hear back from most of them. I know why, I know that I need to make connections, I knew I had to fly out to whichever city and visit galleries or museums. I was going to in late February early March, when it wasn’t as cold anymore. I still can do this, however I got a job at an art center/gallery as an administrative assistant. It’s part time, but I have so many responsibilities. My plans are to stay at least six months at this job and then move on to something bigger. I started there in early February, before that I had a week of training, it wasn’t enough. I’m still trying to get used to programs on the computer, I like the job and I like the people.

Anyway this job allows me to make great contacts, I’ll get to meet John Fielder in a month, if you don’t know who that it, look him up, his projects are beautiful. I’ve gotten to experience new music, Willy Porter this month, in another month Colin Hays, who was part of the Australian group Men at Work. Anyway right now is vital that I learn everything, i’m the main person people talk to when they call and come in the door, so I need to get every piece of information correct.  I never did actually fully meet the photographer John Fielder, due to me being busy helping with everything and him being busy with other things. Oh well, such is life.

This last month has been stressful, mostly due to getting ready for the current annual photography show. I have never met a more temperamental group  that with photographers. Yeah I made a few mistakes, but it was never anything to write home about.  I had a tough week, that started with feeling like shit due to a lot of stuff.  It ended with a successful opening reception. I learned lessons and I learned that I have a support group within the center, the artists who have studios at the center are so nice. They have my back and even though I see them from just time to time, they are great people to talk to. 

Edit--This was a segmented blog, originally I had it up in February, but I wasn’t happy with it and took it down. I was either too tired or forgot to add on to this, so now, a few weeks later, I’m sending it off into the world of the Internet. 

Getting out of my Comfort Zone

It’s always good to have a plan, even a little one, me? I apparently didn’t have a great plan when I left London. It was find a job, and/or internship; yup that was it, great, but shitty plan huh? It has been two months since I moved back to the U.S. and now I need a better plan, with my parents pushing me, in a good way, I need to find a job, I have bills to pay. Right now I’m applying for jobs and internships here and elsewhere, namely Chicago, but I’ll go just about anywhere except for a few places, New York being one of them. I don’t have anything against it, but it isn’t where I want to live, yeah, I know, picky.  Colorado is not the place to be if I want to apply for art/photography jobs and internships, there are very few galleries and museums here.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve applied to the places I can, though who knows if I’ll get a call back, as a lot of them don’t want you calling them, they’ll call you. I don’t like that mentality, but it is what it is, I realize I will have to call smaller galleries, I hate doing that, but I know I’ll have to. 

What I need to do is get out of my comfort zone, again. I've always gone out of it to an extent, for example, I was quiet in high school, yeah I still am a little, but I’m more outgoing now and always up for anything. In high school I took acting classes and that was pretty much it. I moved to New Mexico to attend university, I was so far out of everything that I knew. I joined a sorority, probably the best decision I made, I made life long friends there. I went on a five week backpacking trip on my own, and I moved to London. All of those things are out of my comfort zone, but I do it anyway because I want to challenge myself and also because I want to do it. I did so much out of my comfort zone this last year, I wanted a challenge, sure I was hesitant, but I went for it. I guess that’s my mantra on life. It’s my desire to travel and experience different cultures, that’s what shapes me as a person, experiencing different things. 

So what now, just pack up my stuff and move to a state where I have family and friends or just move somewhere new altogether, where I don't know a single person. I would rather move somewhere where I know people and meet new people who can help me with a career.